There are times when I feel like I am a bad mom right now.
You see, she’s 7 months old and I had to stop breast feeding her around her eighth week – I tried really hard to make it last but my momentum demanded that I traveled to masterminds in Greece, to events in Boise, and to spend sleepless nights – not breastfeeding but growing this agency.
We were about to lose our home last year and my husband worked as much overtime as he could to keep the bills afloat.
“Which bill is priority and which one can we leave off for next month?”
I was VERY pregnant.
In the months when a woman starts to experience those first traces of motherly instinct – that uncontrollable desire to “nest”, we were selling every single belonging we had so we could make ends meet: The couch, the beds, the dishes. . .
And then one day I met her for the first time. . .
And what unfolded afterwards was a wave of events that are hard to clearly remember. Everything is happening so fast.
I firmly believe that this was divine intervention and that God has plans to do something big through me. Which is why I can’t stop.
He put the right coaches and mentors in front of me.
He put the right events in front of me – Funnel Hacking Live, The Clique Mastermind, OfferLab.
He put the right friends in front of me.
He put the right clients in front of me.
But regardless, this isn’t easy.
What pains me the most is not the difficult clients nor the difficult months, the risk, the instability that happens from taking a risk into entrepreneurship – It’s the fact that I must choose every day.
And there are many women out there right now with children – who create this facade about business, with trajectories that leave gaps in the story they deliver to their audiences.
But that will never be me.
If you want a business that generates wealth, stability, and removes the chains from the people you love you are choosing to carry a cross.
From sleepless nights to not being able to breastfeed, from being too busy to be there for the friends you see like family, your intimate relationships – all of it is on the table and vulnerable. . . yes, even your daughter and the relationship you are nurturing, your well-being, everything.
I wrote a post about my mom’s hard life on my personal Facebook page a while back.
She used to clean houses.
She used to clean clubs.
She used to clean hospitals.
All because she needed to put food on the table for us.
She is not going to do that ever again as long as I can help it.
She won’t get humiliated ever again because of her broken English, ever again, for as long as I can help it.
I must provide the tools my daughter needs so that she can fly with the wings that I didn’t have, that my mother didn’t have, that my grandmother didn’t have. It’s a generational curse that I am breaking now.
I want to be free.
I want us to be free.
It’s painful to not be able to spend all my waking hours with her. . .
But our house is paid up, our bills are paid up, we have a savings account, we are looking to invest now, we are looking to build up, we are looking to take care of our families – my mom has insurance now. Bella won’t have to start from The Negatives.
She has the nursery that I dreamed about last year and that I couldn’t get for her then.
She has stability.
She has us to protect her.
She has a better chance.
She has the world at her hands.
I do this for her.
I do this for him.
I do this for love.
What are you doing this for? Let me know in the comments. I’d love to know your story.
Sign up to my newsletter to get notified of new blog posts like this.